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For polyamorous family, three hearts can be better than two

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Reggie Alexander was a good-natured guy. It’s a trait that acts your well.

Resting in the couch within his Denver room, he’s holding practical his appropriate together with spouse, Eeza Alexander, who is dark-eyed, playful and wanting to permit Reggie know as he’s generated a poor joke. His left hand, meanwhile, was connected with that of Cassidy Browning, who is considerate and self-confident.

Reggie and Eeza and Cassidy, all-in their own mid- to later part of the forties, become several. Really, perhaps not one or two. They’ve been a polyamorous triad — a group of three loyal couples residing collectively in a relationship under one roof. Within case, Reggie clarifies, he acts as the “hinge lover. It is a relationship where in fact the people on middle on the V is totally a part of all of individuals at the finishes in the V, but they are not as totally a part of each other as they are with all the people on center.”

And after six many years of residing this community, Reggie is used to in the middle of every little thing — like their own California king-sized sleep. “it’s difficult for right up in the center of the night to attend the restroom,” he laughs. “It really is an athletic achievement.”

The exact definition of polyamory try “many loves.” However in exercise, the word usually applies to non-monogamous but moral interactions where the someone engaging trust honesty, consent, available communication and trust. Indeed, the overall axioms of polyamory are similar to the ones from monogamy; you just need to carry out the exact same activities more regularly, with even more lovers.

By and large, mainstream society has linked polyamory with moving, hippie love-festing, cheat and, obviously, some religious teams, either present or old. The Mormons, the absolute most well-known of the, don’t officially embrace polygamy, but some splinter teams nonetheless practice they.

However the graphics of polyamory is changing, particularly with reality-TV programs like Sister spouses and Polyamory: hitched and relationships. And, anecdotally, lots of monogamous lovers are modifying their particular relationships to be what sex-advice columnist Dan Savage phone calls “monogamish.”

In reality, Reggie, Eeza and Cassidy believe having a lasting partnership with over anyone try a significant accomplishment at a time whenever separation rates inside U.S. consistently enrich, nasty breakups appear to be standard, and everyone understands someone that isn’t obtaining their needs met in a monogamous relationship.

“our world. wants alternate dynamics that actually work,” claims Reggie. “the occasions from the conventional atomic family members becoming really the only design include offering method to additional options.”

That practice are exactly how Reggie and Eeza got their own start. Both decrease in love in senior high school in Edmond, Oklahoma, and got partnered back in 1984, before Reggie graduated. They transferred to Colorado briefly afterwards, and Reggie worked for the community sector while Eeza grabbed a position as a professional nursing assistant’s assistant. They even got two children.

Over the then ten years, but Reggie and Eeza seen nearly all their friends read messy divorces, when the couple’s best friends chose to divided, they chose to shot something else with the very own marriage. “You will find always thought during the idea of a poly life style, even though i did not know it had the state label,” states Reggie. “i usually thought I got plenty of like to give to more than just one girl, but we never acted onto it.”

“We were interested in the kink life but had not completed nothing before the polyamory,” Eeza adds.

After spending 36 months discussing whatever wished away from a fresh union vibrant, they attempted Polymatchmaker.com, an online dating site with a certain motif — and discovered Cassidy.

Cassidy was born in Michigan and lived-in ny and Arizona before moving to Denver, where she’s worked at different colleges and nonprofits. She was indeed married double (once for six age as soon as for ten) and is appearing out of this lady next split up whenever she chose to check out polyamory. She were enthusiastic about alternative sex views, but polyamory ended up being something totally various.

“I got for ages been interested in the thought of being polyamorous,” claims Cassidy. “we experimented shortly with-it inside my second matrimony, however it was not successful. Then separation — maybe not brought on by the poly research — we consciously went out to find a polyamorous circumstance.”

After trading e-mails, the three found in person in 2006, at a Christmas celebration are held because of the regional polyamorous community, plus they struck it well right away. “We dated for a short time and then persuaded the woman to maneuver in with our company,” says Reggie. “wen’t let her avoid however.”